Asking Does Not Kill

I have made a few discovery's in my time since losing my eyesight. This one of asking, however, I feel could be of great benefit to many because at some stage or another in life we know inside of us that we need to ask for help. We need to ask for things that we cannot do for a particular reason, but a lot of the time we do not ask for help because we are 1 of 3 things or even sometimes multiple. These are:

  1. We do not want to put somebody else out by asking them to help us.
  2. We are embarrassed by what our request is and the reason for asking.
  3. We do not like admitting that we need help.

This is a common problem and surveys show that over 60% of people will not ask a stranger for help due to one of those 3 reasons. This therefore results in people not being able to complete the tasks they either need or want to complete.

This Valentines day, as much as I would love to say I was too tough to do anything for my beautiful partner Amy, unfortunately, for my tough bloke status, I cannot. Amy was working all weekend and Valentines day was the Sunday. On Friday night Amy got home from work at 11:00pm and was gone again at 6:00am the next morning. She got home on Saturday night at 11:30 pm and was gone for work on the morning of Valentines day at 6:00am once again. At this time of the morning I only just had the energy to open one eyelid slightly and mumble, “have a good day, love you”. Lucky for me, during the day Amy sent me a text saying she would be home for dinner and to relax together, just the two of us.

My mind went into overdrive about something special I could do for her but the problem I faced was unless I ordered unromantic takeaway I would have to ask for help. This was the order of events that then followed all in order to get some groceries to make dinner, a bunch of flowers and a couple of candles for when she arrived home. Are you ready?

I had to book a taxi from my house to the local shopping plaza that I had only been to once before so I wasn’t overly familiar with the location. I had to ask 4 different people for directions and then redirections to get from the entry to the plaza to Woolworths at the other end of the plaza. I had to ask a lady where the service desk in Woolworths was AND if she could guide me there. There I had to ask a man if he could arrange someone to take me around the shop to pick the groceries I wanted to purchase. Once back at the check out the man that had helped me with the groceries handed me on to a lady who helped me pick a nice bunch of flowers to take home as well. Eventually I left Woolworths and made my way back to the exit only asking 2 strangers this time which was a new record! I then booked another taxi which I had to wait 25 minutes for on a 35 degree day in the busy carpark for to take me back home. If that doesn’t sound hard enough, Woolworths didn’t have any candles in stock so that became my next mission. A phone call to Bunnings revealed that they had what I was after and it was within walking distance. Relying on trusty Siri to guide me to the door was a mistake because I still had to ask 2 more strangers to guide me to the door and then a Bunnings staff member at the door arranged another staff member to take me down to find the candles I was after and bring me back to the counter to pay for them. I then asked the first staff member which door I came in to make sure I was leaving the same way and I eventually made it back home with everything I needed in order to create a special night for Amy.

It then took me another 2 and a half hours to prepare dinner, place all the candles around the house and light all 72 of them including some that when light read; I LOVE YOU.

It is scary to ask for help, especially from a stranger AND when the request is slightly embarrassing (flowers and candles, gross). The great thing is though that asking for help will NOT kill you, I promise. Life is hard and sometimes we need to swallow our pride more often than we already do to make extraordinary things happen. Reality is that if I didn’t swallow my pride and ask for help, Amy would have come to a delivered pizza and whatever movie happened to be on TV that night. Next time you are tossing up between asking for help or not, ask yourself three questions;

  1. What is stopping me from asking? (Is it my pride, ego, image etc.)
  2. If they say no to my request, what is the result? (Will you be any worse off than you were before you asked?)
  3. If they say yes, will the end result be enhanced and make my life easier? (the answer to this question should always be YES!)

Asking these three questions will remind you that asking will not kill you and that the answer, if you do not ask, will always be no. So when is the next time you will swallow your pride and ask for help?

Amy Savage